Genogram Insights

     Creating a genogram helped me visualize a trend in my family that I hadn’t been aware of.  My husband and I are the only members of the Church on my genogram, but we are not the only devout Christians.  Those in the family who actively live a Christian lifestyle, who attend worship meetings, read scriptures and seek to serve also have lasting marriages.  Some of those who have divorced also had religious backgrounds, but none of them lived a religious lifestyle. 

     I need to be clear that I’m not saying being religious is required for a lasting marriage, but it has certainly made a difference in my family.  There are two marriages in my genogram that lasted without a religious foundation, but they both had a commitment to family as the most important institution on earth.  Each of them was a person of integrity who believed that their word was final.  A vow of, “for better or for worse, until death do we part,” was not to be broken.      

     Although my marriage is the only temple marriage, it is not the only covenant marriage in my family.  My aunt and uncle and their sons and wives were all married in religious ceremonies where they made promises to each other and to God.  Each of them has centered their families on Christian virtues, prayer and consistent attendance at Sunday worship.  They know that God is at the center of their family and their devotion to Him strengthens their familial relationships. 

     Conversely, the other marriages in our family were often performed by a Justice of the Peace and took place in courthouses, parks, hotels, and basically any venue that was not a church.   Most of these marriages did not last long; they were contract marriages.  They promised each other their love, but without a deep conviction of the importance of staying married, their relationships crumbled under the weight of addiction, selfishness, and adversity.    

     Couples in a covenant marriage are deeply aware that their marriage is more than just the two of them.  They hold strong convictions concerning the importance of marriage and family to society.  They believe in the joy of raising children to be good citizens and in the strength of commitment to endure both the good times and the difficult.  A covenant marriage looks outward to the needs and desires of the spouse rather than inward to selfish pursuits.  A covenant marriage is strengthened and fortified against the trials and temptations of mortal life when it is founded on faith in God and His plan.