In the April 1989 General
Conference, President Hinckley read a talk that President Benson had written
for the Church. President Benson’s
health was failing and like so many prophets before him, he left us an example
of humility and a legacy of faith. President
Benson’s remarks were bold. In his
introduction, he said, “Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning
in ignorance.” He left little room for
any of us to claim ignorance by the time the talk was finished.
When I finished reviewing the talk
this time, the first thought that came to mind was H. Wallace Goddard’s
postscript to his chapter about humility and repentance in Drawing Heaven
into Your Marriage. “If, as you read
this chapter, you found yourself thinking how much your partner needs it, I
encourage you to re-read the chapter with yourself in mind.” That echoed President Benson who said, “Pride
is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in
ourselves.” I had seen others, not just
my spouse, in much of the reading. I
realized how often I’ve been guilty of seeing their pride and trying to “fix
it” rather than focusing on my own issues.
President Benson taught, “The proud do not
receive counsel or correction easily.” Um,
yeah. When my husband and I took our
vacation last month, one morning we were visiting with other guests over
breakfast when one mentioned that she lived just outside Houston, TX. I replied that our daughter had lived there a
few years ago and loved it. A bit later
someone else mentioned Pennsylvania and I again commented that our
daughter-in-law had lived there and couldn’t wait for the trip back to show off
the area to our son this Fall. After
we’d been driving for a while, my husband said, “Can I teach you something
about being a missionary?” He corrected
me (very kindly) for not saying that our kids had served missions for our
church in those areas. That, he said,
may have opened a door for further discussion or testifying about the restored
Gospel. I was already feeling disappointed
in myself, because I’d ignored that exact prompting, both times! But when he gently pointed it out, my pride
kicked in. It took about an hour before
the tension in the car dissipated and I was sufficiently humble to acknowledge
my mistake.
Pride. I had no reason to be upset with R. I already knew I’d made a mistake and he was
being kind and loving. John Gottman states, “Accepting influence is
an attitude, but it’s also a skill that you can hone if you pay attention to
how you relate to your spouse.
Gratefully, I’m married to an “emotionally intelligent” man. We both have moments where we put on the
armor of pride, but humility is a trait we both desire. The best way to “pay attention” as Gottman
instructs, is to pray for it, frequently.
.
H. Wallace Goddard said it well, “The natural man is inclined to love
himself and fix others. God has asked us
to do the opposite. We are to fix
ourselves by repenting, and to love others.” My re-read gave me plenty to work on; enough
that I don’t have time to worry about fixing anyone else.
Benson, E.T.
(1989). Beware of pride. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/04/beware-of-pride?lang=eng
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