"Secrets" to a Happy Marriage

My husband and I both come from a long line of marital infidelity.  Both of our fathers were unfaithful many times and our parent’s marriages ended in divorce, with both fathers marrying one of their affairs and our mothers staying single for the rest of their lives.  Three of our four sets of grandparents were also divorced because of infidelity.  In each of those cases, the single mother was remarried later to a man who adopted one of our parents and provided a stable, loving home.  We never knew the grandfathers who left the marriages and gave their children up for adoption by a new father. 

As a result, safeguarding our marriage from infidelity has been a high priority for us.  As I studied the reading materials this week, I realized how blessed we’ve been with inspiration that has kept our marriage strong and safe over the years.  Until I began this degree, we’d never read a marriage book, gone to a marriage counselor or studied the ways to build and keep strong marriages beyond the teachings of our church leaders at General Conference, the Family Proclamation and the information in the temple ordinances.

The Lord protects His children if they listen.

When our son was engaged, he asked us what the most important things were that we’d done to keep our marriage strong.  We took some time to discuss the question and these were our responses: pray together every day; go on weekly dates; kiss each other at comings and goings; ignore the annoyances and focus on the reasons we love each other; prioritize (1)God, (2)our marriage, (3)our family unit, then (4)everything else; don’t allow cares of the world to interfere with an eternal focus; and, remember that once you’ve made covenants across the temple alter, the time for choosing is over and the time for making it work has begun. 

I’m sure there are a million other little things we could have told him, but we felt like those goals had given us a foundation of strength and fidelity that have carried us for nearly 30 years.  The big names in marriage and family research and counseling have provided insights and counsel, data and conclusions that are helpful in the war against marriage and family.  But for most couples, the only battle against marriage and family they will fight in is their own.  Conquering the enemy is a guarantee if the Lord’s strategies are employed by both spouses.